Wherefore Art Thou Cheese?

This is from a number of years back, but a great tale nonetheless. The legend goes like this:

Pizza Hut hires a a large advertising firm to help them tweak their image.  The largest ad firm in the country at the time.  This firm turns to Ween, requesting a jingle from the band. I can just imagine that meeting in the board room:

“Hey, what about that Ween band my kids listen to? They’re hip, right?”

Besides, nothing gets the appetite going more than a word like “ween”.

In particular, the Hut was all about promoting their latest innovation in pizza technology, the revolutionary Insider Pizza, a pie with the cheese on the inside, because, well, cheese on the outside was so 1980.

Pizza Hut
I see you cheese, all hanging on the outside. It’s time to go in. Go. Shhh. Just go.

I’m sure Ween couldn’t help but be floored and inspired by such a revolution in fine dining.

They responded with the following track, titled simply, Where’d The Cheese Go?:

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Touching, don't ya think?  No?  Well, Pizza Hut didn't think so either.

The firm, not exactly in tune with Ween's wacky style, rejects the song, along with a number of follow-ups from the band.  The band writes.  The firm says no.  The band writes.  The big Hut rejects.

The two sides eventually part ways, with no Ween/Pizza Hut jingle ever coming to be.  It was a sad day for fans of both wacky music and state-of-the-art, Americanized, highly processed food product.

Ween, however, has one last laugh:

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Where?  Where indeed?